Lavender

It's been some time now since you left and I can tell you, I'm not sure if I've mourned too much or not enough. Everything is far from normal as I stare into this abyss of an apartment. I see through the clutter of clothing and things strewn in the living room like it is dead bacteria; invisible and ineffective. It is in this moment that I realize my walls are off-white. We're they always that way? Did your radiant features fronting their backdrop cause me to perceive the walls to be more angelic in color? Maybe my thoughts are backwards... Maybe they are white, but I perceive them to be as bleak as my life seems now. I haven't moved from this couch in three days seeing as my bed still smells of lavender. Sweet soft lavender. Even your lips gave off that fragrance as you spoke me me. Lavender.